My grandmother emailed me the other day that she was digging in her backyard and called the utility marking people beforehand. The man asked her a series of questions including “why are you digging?” She found this to be a personal matter and convinced the man that he didn’t need to know why she was digging. “But” she wrote, “you could practically hear the wheels turning.” We both got a kick out of that and decided it would be a good idea to come up with the eight most plausible reasons a grandmother might be digging a hole in her backyard. Without further ado, 8 Reasons Grandma is Digging a Hole (in no particular order):
1. Burying her money
You know, because grandmas are always filthy rich and also skeptical about banks.
2. Building a doomsday shelter
Just in case this whole Trump thing doesn’t work out as well as they planned.
3. Searching for Buried Treasure
Maybe she forgot where she buried all her money. Maybe the bank wasn’t such a bad idea.
4. Smuggling Moonshine During the Prohibition
Only about 85 years too late on this one.
5. Looking for Sarlaccs
“Good, I hate long waits”
6. Setting Traps for Pirates
Probably coming to look for her buried treasure.
7. Tapping in to the New Pipelines
Who needs fresh water anyway.
The phrase, “there’s more than one way to skin a cat” just doesn’t seem to work here.